why?? why so soon??

why does life have to be so hard. you think you have your life under control and then it's instantly changed. it seems like just yesterday i was sitting at the end of my mom's bed begging her to let me go outside before i did my homework. and now im begging for her to come back to me. it's hard to live a normal life when the one person who loved you unconditionally from birth is suddenly gone. i have no one who really knows me anymore. who would throw me a baby shower in another state and pay for me to come there just so she could see her baby girl pregnant with her first baby. who else will fly across the states to see her only daughter go through labor for the first time and be there for any and everything she asks. deal with her dumb mistakes she made as a teenager and still love her inside and out. what mother would send thier child away in hopes that she would learn how to deal with life instead of take it out on herself? my mom did. she loved me when i was dumb. she loved me when i was sick. when i left to go to school she supported me all the way and was so proud of me. and im glad and blessed that i was able to be there for her in her last month the way she needed me. and take care of her the way she took care of me. i only wish i had longer to say goodbye. i feel as if she was taken away too soon. i still wake up and hear her laugh. or see her face when she first held my baby. it was amazing and im glad she got to see me go through things that she helped me get past. i know she looks down on me everyday and helps me through things still. i'll always love my mom. and she will be missed by alot of people. she touched alot of peoples lives and i can't wait to see her again. i love you mom.